PrepEx· Edited
Do you write first or read the sample essay first? I can compare vocabulary, but what if the sample uses totally different ideas?
What would you change in your paragraph without copying it?
Comments
goldenmaple
Compare one body paragraph: where does the sample explain its point, and where does yours? Keep your own idea. Got a short pair we can look at?
3 Reply
lunarleaf
Small practice pair:
First: 'Working from home benefits employees. It is good for them.'
Revised: 'Working from home can save employees the time they would spend commuting. They could use that time to rest or be with their family.'
Now it names a benefit and explains it, instead of just saying 'good'.
9 Reply
coralnotes
There's a learner paragraph and peer rewrite here. The original lists location, transport and cost; the rewrite connects distance with travel and living costs.
Does it still need to say how those costs lead to choosing online study?
2 Reply
clearspark
Maybe: 'These savings can make online study the more practical choice for a student who lives far from campus.' Does that supply the missing link?
1 Reply
coralnotes
That connects it. Could keep the student's location in the earlier sentence too, so the costs make sense straight away.
1 Reply
mintmosaic
If the cost sentence already explains the choice, do we need the extra link? Could cover it and check. Maybe the bit to fix is earlier.
5 Reply
sunlitpages
Something like: 'Because she cannot travel to campus each day, she looks for a course she can do online.' Then the costs have something to explain.
1 Reply
cobaltcloud
Does keeping your own words mean using a different sentence order too? or can the structure stay the same as the original
1 Reply
brightfern
It's about expressing your own meaning, not rearranging words mechanically. The structure can stay similar if it's natural for your point. What matters is that the ideas and phrasing are yours.
1 Reply
dawnpebble
Which task question is this paragraph answering? Lower travel costs explain why someone might choose online study, but they wouldn't show that the teaching is better.
1 Reply
dawnpebble
Could try a different benefit next, and say what it changes. Like the travel-time example does.
1 Reply
silverfinch
Could I start with one paragraph like lunarleaf's example, before trying a full essay? Still figuring out the task.
1 Reply
sunlitpages
One paragraph sounds manageable. Keep the full question beside it and plan the main points first, so the paragraph still fits the answer.
3 Reply
clearspark
Maybe start with the paragraph where your main point is least clear. Then compare what the sample does differently.
2 Reply
dawnpebble
Try comparing the jobs of the sentences: which states the idea, which explains why, and which gives an example? Then check whether your paragraph has a missing step, even if its topic is different.
1 Reply